books

i'm sorry that i haven't posted in a while. inspiration didn't hit me until now.

i hear stories. form one friend. and then the other. i hear one side. then the other. and i sometimes wonder. who is telling the truth?

i'm not trying to say anyone is lying or anything. i'm just saying that the way people perceive things are different. should i believe the story of friend no. 1? or friend no. 2?

why should i believe anyone of them? to have a bad impression of the other? in the end, you shouldn't trust anyone except yourself.

yes you tell them your secrets. the things that you went through. your ups and downs. but you don't tell them everything. you tell them what you want to tell them. you tell them what you want them to perceive. you don't tell them your whole story. you edit it to suit them. their personality.

the only person who knows the uncensored version of that book is you. you have the book with the sentences that have been crossed out. the notes that have been added. the paragraphs that have been repeated until it's perfect.

everyone else who reads you has a slightly different version of the book. and you should keep it that way. a powerful girl is one who holds her own book.

so keep the original to yourself.

-s-

what are we here for?

at least once in our lives, we wonder what our purpose is. what the purpose of humans are on this planet. but what if everyone had their own individual purpose. that not everyone has the same purpose in this world.

i don't think that everyone has the same purpose. that's why we are unique. we are given the talents we need to achieve our own purpose. we have to learn what that is and fine tune it so that we can achieve what we want to achieve.

some people's purpose may be to win the nobel prize. another's might be to invent the telephone. are those the only people that have achieved their purpose? i don't think so.

what about the people whose purpose to be an amazing mother. what about the people whose purpose is to take care of their family. what about the people whose purpose if to help friends. what about their purpose in life?

we don't need one big purpose to live. we don't have one big purpose to achieve. we don't have to compare ourselves to other people to find out our purpose.

we all have our own purpose. no matter what it is. that's why we are the way we are.

find your purpose. you never know. it could be right in front of you.

-s-

dreams are a wish your heart makes

it's the middle of the night, and i'm pulling an all-nighter because of the amount of work i have. while people are deep in sleep and in their realms of dreams, i stay awake to witness it.

has there been one day where you wake up and you realise that you've had the worst dream ever? the day where you wake up in the middle of the night and then realise that it was all a dream? lately that's been happening to me.

i've had weird dreams for the past week or so. apparently they're meant to mean something. but i can't get my head around it.

dreams are a wish your heart makes. dreams are a way of your subconscious telling you that some things need to be changed in your life. and when you have nightmares, that means that you are scared of what's going to happen.

when you go to sleep at night, underneath your warm blankets, don't be afraid to dream. don't be afraid to see what your heart wants. don't be afraid to look inside you.

that's what dreams are for. to show you who you really are.

-s-

too good to be true

every single time something good happens in life, i always stop myself from letting it happen. i know what you're thinking. you're thinking why? why would she stop herself from letting something good happen to her?


that's because i think it's too good to be true. every single time something good has stood in front of me, i have sabotaged it so that it becomes something bad for me and i can then later tell myself that it was too good to be true.


i don't think i'm a person who should be happy in life. not yet at least. the reason for that? because i don't think i've worked hard enough to be happy. i've been lazy and irresponsible and down right rude. who would want to be with someone like me? and so to make sure that i'm right, i turn everything good into my life into something bad.


when the day comes that i think i deserve something good in my life, that's the day that i will allow good things to happen. i won't sabotage it to make it bad. i'll make sure that it stays good in my life.


until that day, i'll sabotage away.


-s-

ripping off band aid

when it comes to doing brave things in your life, we always have to have a little push to do it. whether it be standing up to you parents, mending friendships, or being honest, we need someone to help us rip the band-aid off.

every single time something bad happens to us, we get scarred. whether it be physical or emotional, it always leaves a mark. when that happens, we try to fix it. we want our wounds to heal so that we can continue with life. even though it may have changed a bit.

every single day we reach a point where we have a chance to rip off the band aid to show that our wounds have healed and that we are going to move on in a better light, but we don't. we don't want the band aid to come off since we're scared that the scar will still be there. we're scared that the scar will become worse. we're scared we're not brave enough.

but that has to stop. if we don't rip off the band aid and continue on with life, how are we supposed to know whether the scars have healed? when are we going to be brave enough to rip the band aid off and be brave if not today?

so i ask you this, is today the day you rip off your band aid?

-s-

disconnecting

these past few days, my laptop has not been working because of my charger. and my phone has been acting weird. it has a mind of it's own. people may think that i've been dying since i have nothing to communicate with but i think otherwise.

yes at first i thought oh god! what am i gonna do? how am i going to communicate with the world? i'm completely disconnected. but after a couple of days, it felt good.

to have time to yourself, to gather your thoughts, to think of nothing at all. all the peace and quiet. it was different. and nice.

the world around us is so fast-paced, so hectic, that sometimes we don't have time for us. we're running around trying to finish our to-do lists. but have you ever just sat down, disconnected from the world and thought of nothing?

you don't have to worry about someone not reaching you. or that someone didn't reply on facebook. you can get lost in your own thoughts. you can finish the book you were reading. you can focus on yourself. de-stress.

i know that as the semester goes on it will get harder to do things like this, so take advantage of it now.

disconnect from the world and connect with yourself.

-s-

distance means nothing

this past weekend, i had the time of my life. summer is almost ending, and for the first time since it began i was surrounded by all the people i care about. and that's when it hit me. that this is the last time for a long time that this is going to happen.

in college, you meet people that you end up being friends with for the rest of you life. and you meet people that you are acquaintances with. the only problem is that one day they have to leave.

it's sad how things have to change. how everyday someone has to leave us. and slowly groups become smaller and smaller until one day it's just you heading back home to face the real world.

but i know that these people, the people in my life right now, to them, distance is nothing. that even though we're going to be a million miles away, we will still keep in touch. we will still call each other about the smallest things. laugh at the smallest jokes, cry at a tragedy, and enjoy life with everything we have.

i have friends all over the world. and the ones that matter most to me are the people i'm in touch with. whether they're half an hour away or half way across the world, these are the people whom i love.

to us, distance means nothing.

-s-

horoscopes

i don't believe in stars, horoscopes or anything like that. sometimes, yes i do look it up just for fun. just to see what they say and if my day has gone like they say it has. sometimes it happens to be true, other times, not so much.

in india, we don't look at the solar horoscopes. we look at the lunar horoscopes. apparently the time and date that you were born has a big influence in your life.

it can tell you a lot of things about your future. your professional life, your love life, your social life.

although i don't believe in things like this, my mom got a reading and she told me about it. i obviously thought it was nonsense but after she gave me a timeframe, i started to wonder. you can't help but wonder if your life is going to end up like that. whether all the events in my life from now on are going to lead to what she told me.

then i think to myself, that maybe now that i know, i can change what i don't like about it. but then i think, what if by changing my actions now, i'm actually going to the end up doing what it says. what if this is meant to happen. that my actions are triggered in such a way that what i do now will end up leading to the certain events.

then i stop myself. i started remembering my new years resolutions. that i wasn't going to think about the future. that i was just going to do.

but sometimes i can't help but wonder.

what would you do?

change the present so that you can try to have a better future or just let life run it's course?

-s-

relationships

every singe year, we should assess how much things have changed. if i look back as to what has changed the most, i would have to say my relationships.

i've made new friends, lost some and become a lot closer to my mom.

making new friends is easy. saying a hi or a hello and lending a hand to help them out. the problem is that when making a new friend, you have to make sure that you don't get wrapped up and leave all your old friends behind.

sometimes it can be a challenge. when you want to get away from everything, your new friend can be the only person to turn to.

it's hard because you have to balance them out and when one person needs more attention, the scales tip over.

losing friends however is a lot harder to do but you're still capable of doing it.

sometimes one wrong move can make you lose a friend. sometimes, it's a lot of moves that make you lose a friend.

trying to get that friend back is your choice. depending on the circumstances of course. if your friendship can go through all the ups and downs and still somewhat survive, then that is what i call true friendship.

but obviously it goes both ways. both of you have to try. there isn't any point in one person trying because then it's not a relationship. a relationship is about giving and receiving. not just giving or not just receiving.

however, one thing i've learnt throughout this entire time is the fact that no matter what happens, the people that stick with you through the best of times and the worst of times are the people whom you should call your true friends. these are the people who won't judge you for what you've done but judge you for who you are. no matter how far away they are, they'll always be there for you.

one person who has always been there for me is my mum.

over the past year, i've become a lot closer to her. i think it's either because i've started thinking more grown up and more rationally or that my mum has started to think more like me or has accepted recent ideologies.

whatever it is, we've been fighting a lot less and have been talking a lot more. we have become a lot closer than i thought we would and that has surprised me. i never once thought that i would be this close to her. but i love it! of course we still have our arguments, but that's the whole point. we're supposed to. if we didn't, that would be a little bit weird. she doesn't have the answers to everything, but it's comforting knowing that whenever i'm upset, she'll always be there for me.

so go. find the people who'll always be there for you.

-s-

happy mother's day

when i was growing up and was going through the many troubles of being a teenager, i used to go to my ma for advice. she always had something to say. mainly however was that friends will come and go and family will stay with you forever.

but being a teenager, i didn't want to hear that. i wanted to hear that my friends were always going to be there. at that point, i didn't want my ma to be my best friend.

we started fighting on an almost daily basis about the smallest things. i told her that she never understood me and that i was completely different from her. no matter how much i did that, she never let go. whenever we fought, she always held on tighter. i was the one that wanted to keep my distance, while she wanted to close it.

there came a point in my life when i stopped believing in myself, she didn't. when i thought that i was a nobody, she told me that i was the best thing that had ever happened to her. when i thought that i wasn't good enough, she told me to dream and strive for everything i believe in. even now, being hundreds of miles away, she's always supporting me in whatever i do.

she's the one that's made me who i am. she's the one that has kept her faith in me. she's the one that has loved me unconditionally.

she's my mother. and i love her.

happy mother's day.

-s-

independence

over a small course of time, so many things can change. clothes, weather, friends.

sometimes in life, in the shortest amount of time possible, people change. they were once a person whom you could count on anything for and soon they become a stranger watching from a distance.

i'm not saying it's a bad thing. sometimes people grow up and leave their friends behind. sometimes people don't want to grow up and get left behind. sometimes opinions change, sometimes people change.

when you grow up in this world, you should have a person you can count on. and that person should be yourself. yes, you do have friends. but as my mother would say, friends come and go, the only person you can trust is yourself.

and it's true. i'm in university. yes i will have friendships that last a lifetime. yes i will have friendships that don't. i don't know which one is which and until i explore and figure that out, i continue making friends.

in the end however, there shall be more people that will come and go in my life. and i shall have to go back to depending on myself. when you were born, you took your first steps, your friends weren't there. when you spoke your first word, your friends weren't there.

so don't worry too much about friendships that don't last. if they are meant to, they will. even in the hardest of times.

life starts of independently. and ends in the same way.

-s-

a little bit of hope

there comes a point in your life where everything seems to be perfect. your career, your family and your friends. this however doesn't seem to go on forever. after living in bliss for a couple of weeks, it all comes crashing down.

something goes so wrong that it can't be fixed.

but when things like this happen, there is always one person who puts a little bit of hope in you. there is always one person who makes you see the light at the end of the tunnel. there is always one person who will help you climb up when you've reached rock bottom.

sometimes, we take advantage of that person. sometimes we don't appreciate them. sometimes we dismiss them. we never truly realize how much we need that person in our lives until it comes crashing down.

even though things are rough and times are hard, it's at those points that true friendship develops. it's at those points that friends who believe in you stand up for you and tell you the way things are.

they speak the truth and know that you will take the best out of it. they know that you need time to grow and they will be with you when it happens. they help you become a better person. they help you do that no matter how close or far away they are.

it's people like that you need in your life

-s-

positive thinking

at the beginning of the year, i wanted to change. i decided that i was long overdue for one. so i decided to change the physical aspects of myself. i cut my hair and i pierced my bellybutton.

i thought doing things like this would help me change. that they would somehow change my personality as well. but they don't. changing your physique doesn't do anything to change who you are.

after a lot of contemplating and a lot of ups and downs, i decided that i should look at the better things in life. that it's only my mentality that can change the way i look at things. that it has to be me that says that the sun is going to shine everyday.

i used to be a roller coaster. i used to have massive mood swings. but now, i don't. i don't have those mood swings because i have nothing to be upset about. everyday i wake up and think that today is a new day and i start it with a smile on my face. i think to myself that nothing can go wrong. and if something does, then i deal with it then.

i never realised how much positive thinking could lift a person's mood and their outlook on life, but it does. it's caused me to change the way i think and the way i look at things.

i'm pretty sure it can change yours too.

-s-

spring opportunities

so spring is finally upon us.

the grass is green. the birds are singing and the sun is finally out. the weather is amazing, and life in general seems pretty good.

even if it isn't, the weather makes you feel like you're capable of doing anything. but isn't that what you should be feeling everyday regardless?

everyday, there are people who make their own opportunities and go for it. there are people who rise up to the occasion when it comes. there are people who just watch.

but why do we have to be those people? why do we have to be the ones to sit on the sidelines and watch other people climb the ladder, while we hold it steady for them? we can create our own opportunities. we can rise up to the occasion. no one has to tell you that you have the capabilities to do great things. you know you do. there's something inside that's telling you to go for it.

make your opportunities. rise up to the occasion. go for it.

-s-

who knows?

you get into fights with your parents about what to wear, what to say and how to act. they think one way and you think another way. it's something that we're all familiar with. most of the time, we don't have the same opinion and fight about it.

but sometimes, i wonder, do parents know what's right for us all the time?

yes experience is there. yes they have been through life. but then again, times have changed. what our parents think about things is not the way we think about it. even though parents don't want to admit it, there is a generation gap.

the way we think is different from the way they think and that's a fact. until all of us realise this and accept this, then everything will be a lot easier. sometimes, we happen to have a better idea of what's better for us than they do.

sometimes, we know what's better for us than they do. sometimes we've had more experience than they have. sometimes we just follow our gut feeling.

for example, our majors. i know some indian parents who have forced their kids into doing medicine or engineering. but what if you didn't want to do that? what if you wanted to do something more creative? what if you were better at psychology? then what?

are you going to continue to do what your parents are going to say? or are you going to do what you want to do and are good at?

are you going to spend the rest of your life hating your life and blaming your parents because you ended up doing something you didn't want to do? or are you going to stick up for yourself, do what you want and be happy with your life?

sometimes parents do know what is right for us. they do have experience and they want what's best for us. but sometimes, they don't know what we want to do and what'll make us happy. so stick up for yourself, voice your opinion. and eventually, they will come around. they will realise that you're doing better in what you're dong because you love it.

once in a while, you know what's best for you.

-s-

why paperplanes?

so i never explained why i called this blog paperplanes.

no, it's not because there weren't any other names available, it's because that's what my ideas are.

well not my ideas. ideas float around in the air. they're not a single person's thoughts or ideas. everyone has had them at some point in their lives. they just fly around, hoping that one day someone picks them up and says it out loud.

ideas such as studying, partying, life. everyone says that they've been through it before and they voice their opinion. their thought. their ideas. but that's the thing. it isn't one single person's. the ideas are everyones. the thoughts are everyone's.

and that's what i do.

i try to pick up ideas. pick up thoughts and re-use them. re-invent them. and then throw them back. make someone else use it and throw it back up again.

just like paper planes.

-s-

glass half-full?

half of the time, we think that nothing in our lives goes according to plan. we weren't supposed to fail that exam. we weren't supposed to eat that burrito. we weren't supposed to pass out at the party.

but we can't help it. life doesn't go according to plan sometimes and there's nothing we can do about it. we can't sit around and think "nothing is going right." we can't look at the glass and say it's half-empty all the time.

no one can pick us up and make us walk on our two feet. as children, we were the ones that had to take our first footsteps. no one helped us. and that's what life is about. no one is here to help us back on our own two feet.

no one is there to change the way you think. the way you look at life. the way you want to live it. that's for you to decide. for you to realise that maybe you need to look at things differently. that maybe the glass is actually half-full.

people can and will try to bring you down. to make sure that every step you take is a hurdle in life. we have to make sure that we jump over those and that we look at each day as something new.

look at everything in a different perspective. don't think you failed that exam. think that you aced the other one. don't think you ate that burrito. think that it doesn't matter because you have an amazing body anyways. don't think you passed out at the party. think that you had an amazing night.

if you start looking at things differently, you may just realise, that maybe the glass is half-full.

light at the end of the tunnel

you hit the lowest points in life sometimes.

when those points come along, you wish you had someoone to talk to. someone who understood you like no one else did. someone who gave you the comfort which you couldn't give yourself.

when times like this arrive, we usually hope that either a friend of family stops by to help. more often than not, there is someone who stops to help.

one person who says that even though the doors are closed, the windows are open. that even though you're going through a tunnel of darkness, there's always light at the end of it. that even though you've hit rock bottom, you can use it to help you climb higher.

these are the people that help through rough times. these are the people who care about you. these are the people that'll look out for you when you don't wanna look out for yourself.

when that person comes along in life, remember, you haven't hit rock bottom.

they are the windows. they are the light. they are the rocks which help you climb higher.

breaking down walls

when you grow up, you start building walls around you. you put one brick at a time, until you've built walls high enough and thick enough for you to protect yourself.

you hope that one day a person will come and tear down those walls so that you're living happily ever after. but that's not true.

one day someone will come along. they try to break down those walls. and one day someone succeeds. they break you're walls leaving you vulnerable. and then they leave.

they don't try to build it back for you. they don't help you put the walls back one by one. they just break it and leave. then anything can get to you. they don't realize that one by one you're the one that has to build your walls back up. this time though, you'll add an extra brick. an extra wall. just so that the same person can't break through.

you keep on hoping that the person who breaks your wall will be the one. more often than not, he's not the one. but you still do it. you still allow your walls to be broken down. you still hope that he is the one.

all you can do is wait. and rebuild. one brick at a time.

footprints in the snow

when snow falls, it's like a blanket over the earth. it looks like a new slate that's been wiped clean.

life happens to be like the earth. when you are born, there's a fresh new blanket of snow. from the time you are born, you are the person who decides whether fresh snow falls or not.

when fresh snow falls, some people go out of their way to walk in the untouched snow. just so that their footprints are there. just so that people can see that they've been there.

when someone walks into your life, they walk on the snow. they first take a couple of small slow steps just to see if it's ok to walk properly. when they realise that it's ok to walk on the snow, they try to make footprints.

sometimes when there are too many footprints or ones that can't be seen, a fresh batch of snow falls. you are the person who decides whether that snow falls or not. you decide whether the footprints disappear or whether they stay there forever.

footprints in the snow. footprints in your life.

you decide whether they stay in your life and make an impact or if they should be blanketed by the fresh snowfall.

can i have the cake and eat it too?

sometimes in life when everything is perfect, when you have the perfect job, the perfect family, the perfect friends, the perfect lover, one of them goes wrong.

you think to yourself that it's too good to be good, or that maybe everything is the way it's supposed to be, you reach a crossroad where you have to choose one or another.

many times in life, the main choices you have to make is either between love and your career or between family and friends. what do you do when it comes to that? is there not once in your life that you can have all that you want? all your dreams, desires, can we not have them all?

every single time we've achieved something in life, we've always had to sacrifice for it. whether it be friends for excellent grades. or a powerful position for family. there is always something that we've had to give up to achieve our goals.

when in our lives can we have everything we want? when does a point in our lives come when we don't have to make sacrifices anymore? will there ever be a point in life where we can have the cake and eat it too?

when that time comes in life, i'll let all of you guys know.

carpe diem

there comes a point in life when you ask yourself "what happens next?"

when you've put one foot in front of the other, you always want to know what's coming your way. well stop it!

i've made a resolution this year that i'm not going to ask "what happens next?" i'm just gonna do.

what is the point of asking "what happens next?" when the outcome may be bad and when you hear it you wish that you didn't want to hear it in the first place? what happens when the next thing that happens becomes the best thing in your life and when you again ask the same question you're disappointed by the result?

don't ask "what happens next?" because it's unexpected. it's for no one to know and for you to find out. if you know what happens next then you won't ever be surprised by the outcome. isn't part of life to be surprised by the outcome? shouldn't you live life not knowing. if you lived life knowing, then it wouldn't be life.

so don't ask "what happens next?" just do. like it's written in latin.

carpe diem.