too good to be true

every single time something good happens in life, i always stop myself from letting it happen. i know what you're thinking. you're thinking why? why would she stop herself from letting something good happen to her?


that's because i think it's too good to be true. every single time something good has stood in front of me, i have sabotaged it so that it becomes something bad for me and i can then later tell myself that it was too good to be true.


i don't think i'm a person who should be happy in life. not yet at least. the reason for that? because i don't think i've worked hard enough to be happy. i've been lazy and irresponsible and down right rude. who would want to be with someone like me? and so to make sure that i'm right, i turn everything good into my life into something bad.


when the day comes that i think i deserve something good in my life, that's the day that i will allow good things to happen. i won't sabotage it to make it bad. i'll make sure that it stays good in my life.


until that day, i'll sabotage away.


-s-