relationships

every singe year, we should assess how much things have changed. if i look back as to what has changed the most, i would have to say my relationships.

i've made new friends, lost some and become a lot closer to my mom.

making new friends is easy. saying a hi or a hello and lending a hand to help them out. the problem is that when making a new friend, you have to make sure that you don't get wrapped up and leave all your old friends behind.

sometimes it can be a challenge. when you want to get away from everything, your new friend can be the only person to turn to.

it's hard because you have to balance them out and when one person needs more attention, the scales tip over.

losing friends however is a lot harder to do but you're still capable of doing it.

sometimes one wrong move can make you lose a friend. sometimes, it's a lot of moves that make you lose a friend.

trying to get that friend back is your choice. depending on the circumstances of course. if your friendship can go through all the ups and downs and still somewhat survive, then that is what i call true friendship.

but obviously it goes both ways. both of you have to try. there isn't any point in one person trying because then it's not a relationship. a relationship is about giving and receiving. not just giving or not just receiving.

however, one thing i've learnt throughout this entire time is the fact that no matter what happens, the people that stick with you through the best of times and the worst of times are the people whom you should call your true friends. these are the people who won't judge you for what you've done but judge you for who you are. no matter how far away they are, they'll always be there for you.

one person who has always been there for me is my mum.

over the past year, i've become a lot closer to her. i think it's either because i've started thinking more grown up and more rationally or that my mum has started to think more like me or has accepted recent ideologies.

whatever it is, we've been fighting a lot less and have been talking a lot more. we have become a lot closer than i thought we would and that has surprised me. i never once thought that i would be this close to her. but i love it! of course we still have our arguments, but that's the whole point. we're supposed to. if we didn't, that would be a little bit weird. she doesn't have the answers to everything, but it's comforting knowing that whenever i'm upset, she'll always be there for me.

so go. find the people who'll always be there for you.

-s-

happy mother's day

when i was growing up and was going through the many troubles of being a teenager, i used to go to my ma for advice. she always had something to say. mainly however was that friends will come and go and family will stay with you forever.

but being a teenager, i didn't want to hear that. i wanted to hear that my friends were always going to be there. at that point, i didn't want my ma to be my best friend.

we started fighting on an almost daily basis about the smallest things. i told her that she never understood me and that i was completely different from her. no matter how much i did that, she never let go. whenever we fought, she always held on tighter. i was the one that wanted to keep my distance, while she wanted to close it.

there came a point in my life when i stopped believing in myself, she didn't. when i thought that i was a nobody, she told me that i was the best thing that had ever happened to her. when i thought that i wasn't good enough, she told me to dream and strive for everything i believe in. even now, being hundreds of miles away, she's always supporting me in whatever i do.

she's the one that's made me who i am. she's the one that has kept her faith in me. she's the one that has loved me unconditionally.

she's my mother. and i love her.

happy mother's day.

-s-

independence

over a small course of time, so many things can change. clothes, weather, friends.

sometimes in life, in the shortest amount of time possible, people change. they were once a person whom you could count on anything for and soon they become a stranger watching from a distance.

i'm not saying it's a bad thing. sometimes people grow up and leave their friends behind. sometimes people don't want to grow up and get left behind. sometimes opinions change, sometimes people change.

when you grow up in this world, you should have a person you can count on. and that person should be yourself. yes, you do have friends. but as my mother would say, friends come and go, the only person you can trust is yourself.

and it's true. i'm in university. yes i will have friendships that last a lifetime. yes i will have friendships that don't. i don't know which one is which and until i explore and figure that out, i continue making friends.

in the end however, there shall be more people that will come and go in my life. and i shall have to go back to depending on myself. when you were born, you took your first steps, your friends weren't there. when you spoke your first word, your friends weren't there.

so don't worry too much about friendships that don't last. if they are meant to, they will. even in the hardest of times.

life starts of independently. and ends in the same way.

-s-

a little bit of hope

there comes a point in your life where everything seems to be perfect. your career, your family and your friends. this however doesn't seem to go on forever. after living in bliss for a couple of weeks, it all comes crashing down.

something goes so wrong that it can't be fixed.

but when things like this happen, there is always one person who puts a little bit of hope in you. there is always one person who makes you see the light at the end of the tunnel. there is always one person who will help you climb up when you've reached rock bottom.

sometimes, we take advantage of that person. sometimes we don't appreciate them. sometimes we dismiss them. we never truly realize how much we need that person in our lives until it comes crashing down.

even though things are rough and times are hard, it's at those points that true friendship develops. it's at those points that friends who believe in you stand up for you and tell you the way things are.

they speak the truth and know that you will take the best out of it. they know that you need time to grow and they will be with you when it happens. they help you become a better person. they help you do that no matter how close or far away they are.

it's people like that you need in your life

-s-

positive thinking

at the beginning of the year, i wanted to change. i decided that i was long overdue for one. so i decided to change the physical aspects of myself. i cut my hair and i pierced my bellybutton.

i thought doing things like this would help me change. that they would somehow change my personality as well. but they don't. changing your physique doesn't do anything to change who you are.

after a lot of contemplating and a lot of ups and downs, i decided that i should look at the better things in life. that it's only my mentality that can change the way i look at things. that it has to be me that says that the sun is going to shine everyday.

i used to be a roller coaster. i used to have massive mood swings. but now, i don't. i don't have those mood swings because i have nothing to be upset about. everyday i wake up and think that today is a new day and i start it with a smile on my face. i think to myself that nothing can go wrong. and if something does, then i deal with it then.

i never realised how much positive thinking could lift a person's mood and their outlook on life, but it does. it's caused me to change the way i think and the way i look at things.

i'm pretty sure it can change yours too.

-s-

spring opportunities

so spring is finally upon us.

the grass is green. the birds are singing and the sun is finally out. the weather is amazing, and life in general seems pretty good.

even if it isn't, the weather makes you feel like you're capable of doing anything. but isn't that what you should be feeling everyday regardless?

everyday, there are people who make their own opportunities and go for it. there are people who rise up to the occasion when it comes. there are people who just watch.

but why do we have to be those people? why do we have to be the ones to sit on the sidelines and watch other people climb the ladder, while we hold it steady for them? we can create our own opportunities. we can rise up to the occasion. no one has to tell you that you have the capabilities to do great things. you know you do. there's something inside that's telling you to go for it.

make your opportunities. rise up to the occasion. go for it.

-s-

who knows?

you get into fights with your parents about what to wear, what to say and how to act. they think one way and you think another way. it's something that we're all familiar with. most of the time, we don't have the same opinion and fight about it.

but sometimes, i wonder, do parents know what's right for us all the time?

yes experience is there. yes they have been through life. but then again, times have changed. what our parents think about things is not the way we think about it. even though parents don't want to admit it, there is a generation gap.

the way we think is different from the way they think and that's a fact. until all of us realise this and accept this, then everything will be a lot easier. sometimes, we happen to have a better idea of what's better for us than they do.

sometimes, we know what's better for us than they do. sometimes we've had more experience than they have. sometimes we just follow our gut feeling.

for example, our majors. i know some indian parents who have forced their kids into doing medicine or engineering. but what if you didn't want to do that? what if you wanted to do something more creative? what if you were better at psychology? then what?

are you going to continue to do what your parents are going to say? or are you going to do what you want to do and are good at?

are you going to spend the rest of your life hating your life and blaming your parents because you ended up doing something you didn't want to do? or are you going to stick up for yourself, do what you want and be happy with your life?

sometimes parents do know what is right for us. they do have experience and they want what's best for us. but sometimes, they don't know what we want to do and what'll make us happy. so stick up for yourself, voice your opinion. and eventually, they will come around. they will realise that you're doing better in what you're dong because you love it.

once in a while, you know what's best for you.

-s-